Mr. Rant and the US Broke Up

I’m no immigration lawyer but I have had my fair share of time working with the US department of immigration. By work I mean trying to get papers for my husband.

In all fairness, they did give him his Green Card. Guess what, the card was actually green. Go figure. Doing it abroad didn’t take nearly all the hoop jumping that getting my Brazilian resident card did. On the contrary, he had it in about 3 months.

So while we were quite a bit poorer after the whole thing, we thought we were set. We thought so anyway. Turns out you have to set foot on American soil every 6 months if you want to keep it. Sadly, the US government doesn’t cover the bill of flying from Rio de Janeiro to US soil twice a year. But I did discover that you can enter after 11 months once, twice if the second customs agent is forgiving.

That’s what happened to us. Being who we are, and with all our respect for bureaucracy, we pushed the envelope… and we got called into secondary. Thankfully that was just because Immigration departments around the world all have the same standards for organization and they couldn’t figure out which was our latest US address. But we were informed that while they were going to let us in, my death glare and bitching must have intimidated them, Mr. Rant would be turned around and sent home if we waited this long again. Oh, and he would be without his Green Card.

We ultimately decided that it was time for Mr. Rant and the US to break up. They could have some ex-sex in the form of the Tourist Visa but nothing more. The US is far too needy. It expected way too much from this relationship. I mean, Permanent resident is a lot, what more could you ask for?

Oh yeah, spontaneous finger printing in California because he wasn’t actually a Permanent Resident but a Temporary Permanent Resident. Anyone else see the contradiction in terms there? Not to mention the fact that they could not do it in the consulate and that Residency is for people who are actually residents.

That one right there just pissed me off. I’m an American. Hell, I didn’t even leave the country until I was 18 years old. Doesn’t my country celebrate that kind of thing? So give my husband his papers.  I’m allowed to marry who I want to… oh wait. But in this case, I can marry him, I just may not be able to bring him home to Mom. I suppose, depending on the Mother-in-law, some spouses may not be too upset by that.

In the end, I guess we all have our immigration stories. The US is famous for just that. What are yours?

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