Does Penis Size Correlate with Country Happiness?

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So I read in an old Forbes article that Brazil is the world’s 12th happiest country! I am not surprised to say the least.

First off, beer flows like water here. We all know the alcohol is a great mask for depression. Secondly, sex is widely accepted even though everyone is very Catholic. I do believe that priests have a lot of confessions to get through each day, which probably makes them just as happy as sex does the rest of us.

But I think that one needs to look at this study a bit closer.  I feel that something has not been accounted for and I would like you to refer to the penis chart.

I first introduced this chart in an old post of mine and it seemed to give yet another variable in the question of happiness and what we need in life.

Now while Brazil’s level in the penis chart more or less coincides with it’s level in world happiness, I am finding some discrepancies with the other countries.

I will accept Denmark at 6inches and with their stable economy. The two together do make for a happy population. Netherlands at a rousing 6.2 and Coasta Rica at an innocent 5.9, with their lovely countryside and beaches (respectively), are totally understandable.

But just look at Finland’s sad 5.4 and take into account the amount of snow in the winter! There’s also the less than ideal 5.5 of New Zealand and Canada. I know I’m nitpicking here people but we are comparing against Brazil’s 6.3inches, sunshine, and samba.

And it should be noted that it is impossible to check the African countries listed last on Forbe’s list as they are not on the penis chart. Personally, I believe that either the number of inches didn’t fit into the tiny box or they didn’t want to make the other penises feel bad.

I will say though that Turkmenistan is listed as the 18th World’s happiest country and 5.3inches in the World’s length. You have to wonder who got paid off for that one.

It also shouldn’t be ignored that, at 19, United Arab Emirates have refused to even partake in the length debate, but because they run the world I will say it’s for the same reasons as Africa (if by same I mean opposite).

Honestly, I’m a little disappointed in Gallup World Poll. If Rachel’s Rantings in Rio can find such an obvious mistake in research, there is some serious lack in hustle there. Or maybe we are just looking at different qualities.

You tell me, which matters more in life: the motion of the economy or the size of the country?
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3 thoughts on “Does Penis Size Correlate with Country Happiness?

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